You know when two idiots threaten to call their lawyers over a trivial disagreement? Am I the only one who sees this as the adult equivalent of “I’m telling the teacher on you”?
There was a delightful ad on TV for a constipation medicine. Some of the benefits are “no cramps, no bloating, no gas and there’s no grittiness or taste.” I really hope those last two weren’t symptoms.
Stanford scientists, who have obviously been watching old Simpsons episodes again, have discovered that transfusing blood from youths into old people improves their liver and muscle regeneration and boosts memory as well. Unfortunately kids, if you give blood to an old man you probably won’t receive a giant stone Olmec Indian head as a reward.
Read MorePolice in Maryland made a rather grisly discovery the other day and will begin the process of removing a human body from the bottom of a 20ft well. In a related story, a local resident was killed recently by a soaking wet little girl who crawled out of his TV.
Read MoreI saw a commercial for a diarrhea medication called Dukerol. Well, that pretty much hits the nail on the head, doesn’t it?
Read MoreAttention magazine industry: You are no longer allowed to say an actress/model “bares it all” unless we can see her naughty bits. Being in Penthouse is baring it all; being in Vogue with your legs crossed and strategically placed hands is not. That’s bearing most of it. It’s time we started calling this what it is: false advertising. And while we’re on the topic….
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